The WiSSP Resource Library

FOR AND ABOUT SIBLINGS

1.    Lifetimes--The Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children, by Bryan Melloni and Robert Ingsen; Bantam Book, October, 1983.

    Lifetimes talks about beginnings and endings and about living in between. It describes living and dying as a natural, inevitable process for all creatures, including people.

2.    Children Are Not Paper Dolls--A Visit With Bereaved Siblings, by Erin Linn Levy, P.O.Box 267, Cary, IL, 1982.

    A picture book collection of experiences of bereaved siblings. In their own words, the children share their thoughts and feelings about losing a brother or sister.  A useful resource to stimulate discussion.

3.   For Those Who Live:  Helping Children Cope With the Death of a Brother or Sister, by Kathy LaTour, 1983.

    Based on interviews with surviving children, this book examines how a child reacts to the death of a sibling.  The author, also a surviving sib, discusses how the death of a child restructures the family and how each member struggles to find their new place.

4.   Where's Jess, by Joy and Marv Johnson; Centering Corporation, 1982.

     A short story written in the first person, about a child whose younger sibling dies. Addresses some of the questions and feelings a child may have.

5.   Sibling Grief...After Miscarriage, Stillbirth or Infant Death, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Center, Minneapolis, MN, 1984.

     This ten page booklet discusses the impact of miscarriages, stillbirth or infant death on siblings.  It offers guidelines for various age groupings understanding of death and possible behavioral responses.  It concludes with specific strategies for helping children cope.

6.    Thumpy's Story - A Story of Love and Grief Shared, by Nancy Dodge; Prairie Lark Press, Springfield, IL, 1984.

    Thumpy's sister dies and the rabbit family experiences grief and learns to go on living. Through Thumpy's search for answers we understand the anger, guilt and fear that children experience and how we might try to reassure them. Thumpy's Story is available as a book to read, a book to color or as a workbook. 

7.    Unspoken Grief (Coping with Childhood Sibling Loss), by Helen Rosen, Lexington Books, 1987.

    This scholarly book provides an overview of the basic issues of childrens' comprehension of death and the phenomenon of childhood bereavement in a social context. The text is interspersed with interviews and excerpts from the author's surveys. Contains an extensive bibliography on death, childhood mourning, and sibling issues. Pertains to death of older children and not directly to stillbirth.

8.   Am I Still a Sister?, by Alicia M. Sims; Big A & Company, Albuquerque, NM, 1986.

    An illustrated diary of the thoughts, notes and letters written by a big sister whose little brother died at age thirteen months. Provides a rare glimpse of a child's perspective in the difficulties and dilemmas of grieving while growing up.

9.   No New Baby, by Marilyn Gryte, Centering Corporation, 1988.

    This book was written for young children whose sibling has died shortly before or after birth. It provides simple openings for discussion of feelings. It does not address funerals or other burial options.

10.  Sibling Grief: How Parents Can help the Child Whose Brother or Sister Has Died, Medic Publishing.

    Included in this 12 page booklet are an explanation of how children of different ages understand and respond to death, a discussion of a parent as a role model and limitations to consider when sharing their grief with surviving children, and very practical suggestions of what is and is not helpful at home and for the child who must return to school. While not specifically written for families who have experienced stillbirth, it is a very sensitive and thorough resource with many universally helpful suggestions.

11.  Our Baby Died. Why? For Brothers and Sisters, by Jake and Susan Erling; Pregnancy & Infant Loss Center, Minneapolis, MN.

    A bereaved boy shares his feelings and thoughts about his stillborn brother.  This is an honest account of a child's questions, fears and emotions about loss and death. It is a very good resource for children, ages 3-10 years, to read, draw and color.

12.  I Know I Made It Happen by Lynn Bennett Blackburn; Centering Corporation, Omaha, NE, 1991.

    This booklet would be an excellent resource for young siblings who are blaming themselves for a brother or sister's death. The book looks at a number of circumstances in which a child might feel guilty and is presented in simple language with appropriate illustrations.

13.  Molly’s Rosebush by Janice Cohn, DSW; Albert Whitman & Co., Morton Grove, Illinois.

    This children’s book tells the story of a young girl, Molly, as she remembers the day she found out she wasn’t going to be a big sister.  A good book for parents to sit and read with their children to help them understand and begin to cope with miscarriage, the text allows for incorporation of an individual family’s own religious or philosophical beliefs, and an introduction for parents is included.  

14.  No Smile Cookies Today, by Kathy Kennedy Tapp. Pregnancy and Infant Loss Center, Inc, Wayzayta, Minnesota, 1998.

     Katie and her mom made sugar cookies with M&M eyes and red licorice smiles.  The cookies were for Katie's classmates so they could share in celebrating the much anticipated birth of her new sibling.  But the joyous event never happened.  Katie's brother Sean died.  One expression of Katie's grief was to take all the red licorice smiles off the cookies.  

     No Smile Cookies is aimed at preschool through second grade children; this is a "sit on my lap and let's talk" book that may be just the resource some parents need to help themselves and their children talk about the death of a new baby.