The WiSSP Resource Library

ABOUT GRIEF AND GRIEVING

1.   A Child Dies:  A Portrait of Family Grief, by Joan Hagan Arnold and Penelope Buschman Gemma; Aspen Publication, 1983.

    Provides a background of the meanings and manifestations of death and mourning, discusses ramifications of death at various stages of childhood and adolescence and describes the problems faced by bereaved parents. Provides the professional with methods to help families work through this crisis and a bibliography for parents and children. Excellent.

2.   Free to Grieve, by Maureen Rank; Bethany House Publishers, 1985.

    Combining personal experience with research, the author offers guidance to the grieving and emphasizes that grieving, an individual process, is both necessary and justifiable. In addition, questions such as "why did my pregnancy loss occur?" and "when shall we try again" are addressed. This book is written from a Christian perspective, and may be a helpful resource for pastors.

3.   Grief: What It Is and What We Can Do About It, by E.P. Vining; Centering Corporation.

    Written by a funeral director, this pamphlet reviews the physical signs of grief and the associated denial, guilt and anger.

4.    Children Die, Too, by Joy and Marion Johnson; Centering Corporation, Omaha, NE, 1984.

    A short booklet focusing on the universal feelings of grief parents have after losing a child.  Includes sections for grandparents, surviving children and friends.

5.   When Going to Pieces Holds You Together, by William A. Miller; Augsburg Publishing House, Minneapolis, MN, 1976.

    Miller defines grief not as an emotion but rather an experience that must be worked through.  His philosophy is that while some may describe certain attitudes, behaviors 'as going to pieces', this process is in fact normal, natural and necessary.  While appropriate for someone who is actively grieving, will be most helpful for professionals and friends caring for survivors.

6.   Healing a Father's Grief, by William Schatz; Medic Publishing.

    Society has expectations as to how men should behave in certain situations.  These role expectations tend to interfere with grieving. The authors of this pamphlet identify several of these role problems, and offer suggestions on how to overcome them.

7.   Good Grief, by Grangor E. Westberg; Fortress Press, 1984.

    The pattern of grief, and what can be learned from it, are explored. This book, written by a Lutheran clergyman, might be more helpful to those who derive their support from their religious community.

8.    Grieving Grandparents...After Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Infant Death, by Sherokee Ilse and Lori Leininger; Pregnancy and Infant Loss Center, Wayzata, MN, 1985.

    A fifteen page booklet that describes a grandparents grief and explains their child's grief. Offers practical suggestions for helping themselves and their children pass through this tragic experience. Very supportive and comforting.

9.   An Ambitious Sort of Grief, by Marion Deutsche Cohen; Ide House, Inc., Mesquite, TX, 1983.

    The author's diary of her pregnancy, delivery and grief over the death of her two day old daughter.

10.  Living When a Loved One Has Died, by Earl A. Grollman; Beacon Press, Boston, 1972.

    Simply written yet comprehensive book which outlines the feelings and emotions people experience after the death of a loved one.  Stresses the normality of grief and the growth that can occur.

11.  Don't Take My Grief Away From Me, by Doug Manning; In-Sight Books, Inc., Hereford, TX, 1979.

    A practical, supportive guide for grief including information on 'things to do' immediately, anticipatory counseling, and suggestions to help work through one’s grieving.  Written to be read in sections when ready.

12.    Unspoken Grief (Coping with Childhood Sibling Loss), by Helen Rosen, Lexington Books, 1987.

    This scholarly book provides an overview of the basic issues of children's comprehension of death and the phenomenon of childhood bereavement in a social context. The text is interspersed with interviews and excerpt from the author's surveys. Contains an extensive bibliography on death, childhood mourning, and sibling issues. Pertains to death of older children and not directly to stillbirth.

13.  Healing Grief, by Amy Hillyard Jensen; Medic Publishing.

    Written by a woman who lost two children and learned how to share the burden of other bereaved parents and children. This booklet goes through the stages of grieving and highlights the elements that are common to most people, offering very practical suggestions and guidelines.

14.    Comforting Those Who Grieve:  A Guide for Helping Others, by Doug Manning; Harper and Row, San Francisco, 1985.

    The major goal of this book is to educate the reader about grief--a natural, therapeutic, and necessary process following a loss. Although the author, a pastor, writes from a clerical point of view, the information he presents is directed at, and very appropriate for, family, friends, and professionals as well as for the clergy. It is written to help the reader understand the emotions involved in the grieving process, and how a grieving person can best be helped by others to work through their loss. The value of allowing enough time for the grieving process to take place and the value of experiencing the funeral process are two areas which are addressed especially well.

15.  A Beginning, by Nancy E. Malcolm and Bonnie L. Wooten; Women's College Hospital, 1984.

    This book, written by two nurses, attempts to help both parents and professionals understand and cope with the reactions to the death of a baby. Quotes throughout the book, from other parents who have experienced the loss of a child, give examples of what some parents have thought and felt about their decisions concerning seeing the baby, planning a funeral, and where to go for answers. Attempts to prepare parents for some emotions and problems they may experience during their grief.

16.  Guiding Children through Grief, by Katherine Bell Russell; Centering Corporation, Omaha, NE, 1989.

    A resource handbook of 40 recommended books to help young children cope with death, dying, and grief.  The brief introduction describes typical reactions children at different developmental stages have to death and suggests appropriate ways to help children learn about and cope with death.  The description of each recommended book includes the appropriate age level, a brief review, and publication information.

17.  Journey through Grief, by Elizabeth B. Farnsworth; Susan Hunter Publishing.

    This is a touching and personal book which describes the birth and death of a baby with Down syndrome; it is a hopeful story which reminds those who have similarly suffered that they are not alone and that the journey of grieving truly does have a kind of resolution. For professionals, this book is an excellent resource for insight into despair, anger, alienation and even peace that are ultimately associated with the grieving process.  Ms. Farnsworth offers the reality of grief through a parent's eyes.

18.  The Joy of Feeling Good: Eight Keys to a Happy and Abundant Life, by William A. Miller; Augsburg Publishing House, Minneapolis, MN, 1986.

    The author, who has a background in religion and counseling, has written a book about eight precepts that can help one to achieve contentment in life. The concepts he presents stress obtaining a balance in our thoughts and actions, thereby avoiding any extremes. He emphasizes the importance of a positive self-image, knowledge of one's own values and beliefs, and acceptance of oneself as well as other people.  The author includes several exercises and self-tests to help illustrate his points. This book is appropriate for those who may find comfort from Christian teachings.  Furthermore, it would probably be most helpful to those who have already worked through much of their grieving.

19.  A Silent Sorrow: Pregnancy Loss, Guidance and Support for You and Your Family, by Ingrid Kohn, M.S.W. and Perry-Lynn Moffitt, Delta Publishing, New York, 1992.

    This comprehensive guide to pregnancy loss is meant for both parents who have experienced a loss and the professionals who help them. The purpose is to provide support and practical advice, with an emphasis on emotional healing and what can aid psychological recovery. Although the book appears quite lengthy (438 pp), it reads quickly. Four sections include grief, an examination of pregnancy loss, responses of others, and special circumstances. The examination of pregnancy loss is particularly helpful, and includes chapters on early loss, crisis pregnancies, stillborn/newborn death and prenatal diagnosis with a subsequent elective abortion. Each chapter discusses emotional issues, medical procedures, causes, treatment, and the aftermath. Appendices include a nice listing of support services, as well as a guide to rituals that may be performed. This book is a good source to help parents understand what emotional and medical support they need, and can also help professionals provide care.

20.    Remembering With Love: Messages of Hope for the First Year of Grieving and Beyond, Elizabeth Levang, Ph.D. and Sherokee Isle, Deaconess Press, Minneapolis, MN, 1992.

    This book includes nearly 300 entries about a wide range of experiences following the death of a loved one. Each entry includes a quote from a family member, a narrative about the topic and a short validating statement. This book includes experiences with the loss of a child, spouse, pregnancy, and others. A helpful reader's guide is included that lists the specific topics. The entries are grouped according to how long it had been since the loss, ie The Early Days, The Early Weeks, The Uneven Path, The Continuing Journey, etc. The book is not necessarily meant to be read from beginning to end, but may be easy to pick-up form time to time.

21.  More Than Surviving: Caring for Yourself While You Grieve by Kelly Osmont; Centering Corporation Resource, 1990.

    This short book is a guide to taking care of yourself while working through the grieving process after the death of a loved one. It offers several resources if additional information is needed.

22.  When the Bough Breaks by David Delgadillo and Peter Davis, Desk Top Creations, 1992.

    A touching and thoughtful collection of writings about infants who died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). Compiled by the San Diego County Guild for Infant Survival, these writings open a window into the hearts and souls of these parents, siblings and grandparents who so welcomed a new child into their family only to experience the loss of that child to SIDS. This book also includes the experiences and feelings of day care providers, emergency and hospital personnel when their lives are touched by the death of a child from SIDS during the course of their professional duties. A description of the SIDS phenomena, possible etiologies, and a summary of research current in 1992 is provided. Chapters including general information on grieving, difficult times to anticipate and plan for (such as anniversaries and special days), things to consider regarding another pregnancy, and addressing common grief reactions of children are very helpful. A list of "do's" and "don'ts" in the final pages of the book are sound guidelines for anyone who has experienced the loss of a loved one.

23.  For Better or Worse by Maribeth Wilder Doerr; Centering Corporation, Omaha, NE, 1992.

     A concise, understandable account of some of the feelings and reactions that accompany the death of a child. The booklet sensitively discusses the differences between male and female grieving and offers valuable practical suggestions for grieving parents.

24.  Goodbye My Child by Sara Rich Wheeler and Margaret M. Pike; Centering Corporation, 1992.

    This is a helpful booklet for families who have lost a child at any age. The focus is on loss and grieving issues, but autopsy, organ donation and funeral planning are also discussed. The personal quotes from parents and family members that fill each section lend a personal and empathic quality to the book.

25.    Understanding Mourning: A Guide for Those Who Grieve by Glen W.Davidson, Augsburg Publishers, 1984.

    In the words of the author, "this is a book for mourners about the work of overcoming the disorientation that follows the loss od a loved one. It is a testimony of both the pain of loss and the gift of new life". This is a guide for mourners and for the people who help them which focuses on (1) the development of healthy mourning practices (2) the identification of danger signs in the phases of mourning and (3) teaching mourners how to "tell their story" of death and sadness to release feeling and help put their lives back together. This is a book that deals with the loss of any loved one; however, it also explores some of the special issues concerning stillbirth.

26.  A Child’s View of Grief by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.; Center for Loss and Life Transition, Fort Collins, Colorado, 1991.

    This is an informative book which explains the grieving process of children and adolescents.  This book would provide helpful suggestions to parents of a child or teenager who has recently experienced a death of a loved one.  Dr. Wolfelt explains how communication is especially important at such a crucial time.  Adults may also learn ways to deal with their own grief after such a loss.

27.  I Don’t Know How to Help Them by Linda Maurer; Johnson Printing, Boulder, Colorado, 1993.

    This book was written by a woman whose 18 year old daughter died in an accident several years ago.  The grieving process is explored through stories and experiences shared by the author.  Most importantly, Linda Maurer gives advice on how to comfort the bereaved.

28.  Making It Through The Toughest Days of Grief by Meg Woodson; Zondervan Publishing House, Grand Rapids, Michigan, 1994.

    An intimate account of how to ease the pain of death or divorce during particular events such as Christmas, your Birthday, Lonely Days etc. written by an award-winning writer, speaker and grief counselor who has experienced the deaths of her son and daughter with cystic fibrosis.  The unique, flowing, very personal style utilizes examples in order to give practical advice on grieving with some, but not exclusive, focus on Christian beliefs. 

29.  A Guide for the Bereaved Survivor:  A List of Reactions, Suggestions, and Steps for Coping with Grief by Robert Baugher, Ph.D. and Marc Calija, Baugher and Calija, Renton, WA, 1992.   (Formerly titled:  A Guide for the Survivor Who Has Lost a Loved One Through a Sudden Death) 

    Having experienced the loss of a loved one, Marc Calija took Robert Baugher’s course in Death Education and later suggested to Dr. Baugher, a psychology instructor and certified death educator, the idea for the original booklet.  In 59 pages, Dr. Baugher and Mr. Calija have sensitively presented a thorough overview of the bereavement process, including discussions about emotional reactions, physical reactions, reactions of others, and reactions that demand thinking  (in some cases t here is even relation to dealing with grief following murder, suicide, or death of unknown cause).  A specific grief reaction is briefly but meaningfully described on an even numbered page, and on the facing odd numbered page t here is a set of insightful and practical suggestions for coping with the particular grief reaction.  With this unique format, one can read as many of as few pages of A Guide for the Bereaved Survivor as one can at a particular time, and one can “skip” around, reading descriptions and suggestions of relevance and/or interest.  This is a truly comforting guide that could be helpful at any stage of the grieving process. 

30.  After the Loss of Your Baby — For Teen Mothers Only, by Connie Nykiel  Available through the author at:  For Teen Moms Only, PO Box 962, Frankfort, IL  60423

    After the Loss of Your Baby is an amazingly complete booklet written at an appropriate level for even the youngest teen.  In 19 short pages it covers most of the important topics, including an explanation of the more common related medical terms, the grief process, practical issues of creating memories and looking ahead, teen fathers' possible reactions and feelings, and questions about subsequent pregnancies (while many of us may feel uncomfortable thinking about a teenager becoming pregnant again, this booklet addresses the need to be physically and emotionally recovered and physically mature for a next pregnancy).  Contraception is not discussed.  Also available in Spanish.