The WiSSP Resource Library

GENERAL RESOURCES WHICH ARE QUITE COMPLETE/COMPREHENSIVE

1.   Empty Arms:  A Guide to Help Parents and Loved Ones Cope with Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Neonatal Death, by Sherokee Ilse.

    This book, written by a parent who had a stillborn son and directed to other parents who have suffered loss, is a detailed, supportive resource with thoughts on subjects such as decisions parents may be faced with, feelings during ensuing weeks, recovery, and tips on how family and friends can help.  It also includes an excellent bibliography.  Mrs. Ilse writes very clearly and in a particularly sensitive manner.  It can be purchased directly from the author:  Sherokee Ilse, P.O.Box 165, Long Lake, MN  55356.

2.   Newborn Death, by Joy & S.M. Johnson. (Centering Corporation, Omaha,NE)

     A short booklet designed for parents experiencing stillbirth, miscarriage or neonatal death.  It encourages parents to see, hold, touch and name their baby, and to take an active part in decision making.  The importance of the couple's grief is recognized as well as the residual effects after returning home, the value of saying good-bye and the importance of the marriage and other close relationships.

3.   After a Loss in Pregnancy = Help for Families Affected by a Miscarriage, a Stillbirth or the Loss of a Newborn, by Nancy Berezin.  Simon & Schuster, 1981.

    This resource covers such topics as the response of the couple, the community and the caregiver; the mourning process; how to deal with the surviving children; becoming pregnant again; and some causes of pregnancy loss.  Also included is a state-by-state listing of parent support groups. This book may be more appropriate for professionals dealing with those who have experienced a pregnancy loss.  Numerous studies, facts and figures are presented. The overriding purpose of the book seems to be to increase the professionals awareness of what a pregnancy loss means to a family.

4.    Surviving Pregnancy Loss, by Rochelle Friedman, M.D. and Bonnie Gradstein, M.P.H.;  Little, Brown & Company, 1982.

    A factual and compassionate resource, the topics covered in this book include the various types of pregnancy loss, (i.e., miscarriage, stillbirth, ectopic pregnancy and multiple losses) while incorporating a personal experience for each type. It also discusses the emotional impact of pregnancy loss, how it affects the father, other children, family and friends. It concludes with a discussion of various options for the future, including becoming pregnant again, remaining childless, and trying to adopt. An excellent source for both couples and professionals to provide understanding of the tremendous impact of  pregnancy loss.

5.   Living Through Personal Crisis, by Ann Kaiser Sterns; Thomas Moore Press, 1984.

    A self-help book written for those who have to deal with loss and trauma, and their families.  Explains what you may be feeling both physically and emotionally and ways to help yourself heal.

6.   Empty Arms:  Emotional Support for Those Who Have Suffered Miscarriage or Stillbirth, by Pam W. Vredevelt; Multriomah Press, Portland, OR, 1984.

    A Christian approach to grief following a pregnancy loss. Also includes chapters on helping children understand death, dealing with the reactions of others, and the importance of exercise and nutrition. Offers many practical suggestions for growth and healing.

7.    Recovering From the Loss of a Child, by Katherine Fair Donnelly; MacMillan Publishing Company, New York, 1982.

    Parents of deceased children share their grief experiences and things that helped them recover. While a chapter is devoted to the death of babies very little space is directly concerned with stillbirth. The book also includes a detailed directory of helping organizations.

8.   How to Go On Living After the Death of a Baby, by Larry G. Peppers, M.D. and Ronald J. Knapp, Ph.D.; Peachtree Publishers, 1985.

    An excellent resource for both parents and professionals. Sensitively discusses the needs of parents following miscarriage, stillbirth and infant death.  While it focuses primarily on the grieving mother, attention is also given to the father and to the couple. Includes chapter of practical suggestions to help facilitate grief.

9.   Ended Beginnings - Healing Childbearing Losses, by Claudia Panuthos and Catherine Romeo; Bergin and Garvey Publishers, Inc., South Hadley, MA, 1984.

    A holistic approach to grieving and healing. It explores all four aspects of childbearing loss:  the physical, the emotional, the mental and the spiritual.  Childbearing losses are defined broadly as miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, stillbirth, neonatal death, SIDS, infertility, abortion and release to adoption.

10.    Grieving Grandparents...After Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Infant Death, by Sherokee Ilse and Lori Leininger; Pregnancy & Infant Loss Center, Wayzata, MN, 1985.

    A fifteen page booklet that describes a grandparent's grief and explains their child's grief.  Offers practical suggestions for helping themselves and their children pass through this tragic experience.  Very supportive and comforting.

11.  When Pregnancy Fails:  Families Coping with Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Death, by Susan Borg and Judith Lasker; Bantum Books, 1988 (2nd Edition).

    This is an excellent, compassionately written, updated and revised book that balances practical medical information with accounts of parent's experiences as well as the authors' experiences with pregnancy loss. It explores the impact of loss on a couple's relationship and addresses concerns for single women, grandparents, and friends and relatives. It includes an extensive list of support groups across the U.S.

12.  When a Baby Dies - A Handbook for Helping and Healing, by Rana Limbo and Sara Wheeler; Resolve Through Sharing Pub., LaCrosse, WI, 1986.

    An excellent resource for professionals (physicians, nurses, clergy, funeral directors), family (grandparents, friends, surviving children) and parents who have suffered a pregnancy loss through miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death or ectopic pregnancy. A very thorough book, it includes information on grief alone, within a relationship and a family, reactions to the different types of losses and practical suggestions for all persons to help themselves and others to move forward.

13.  Newborn Death, Centering Corporation, Omaha, NE, 1982.

    Though short (18 pages), a relatively thorough book for parents experiencing the loss of an infant through stillbirth or neonatal death. It includes segments about ways to say good-bye, feelings that may surface now and later, how to pass through this period as a couple, and what to tell other children and family members. Also included is a brief section on the special problems of single parents.

14.  Silent Birth---if your baby dies, by Sharon Covington, 1986.

    This is a very well written and amazingly comprehensive booklet about dealing with perinatal death. A compact resource for informing parents, it's also a valuable resource for caregivers, family and friends--it tells what needs to be done and what to expect.  Especially appropriate for parents who learn ahead of time that their baby will be stillborn.  Covers topics of preparing for delivery, saying goodbye, returning home, feeling the loss and time to heal.  Resources. Copies available in quantity from the author. (301)279-9030 Rockville, MD.

15.  A Guide to Resources in Perinatal Bereavement, National Center for Education on Maternal & Child Health, 1987.

    This resource listing is intended primarily for families and the professionals who work with them following a miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death and pregnancies following perinatal loss. Printed and audiovisual materials presented from medical, psychosocial, and spiritual perspectives are included, ranging from personal accounts of parents, to works of poetry, to institutional training materials. Ordering information is included for all resources, along with a description of content and target audience.

16.    Bittersweet...hello goodbye. A Resource in Planning Farewell Rituals when a Baby Dies.  Edited by:  Sister Jane Marie Lamb, OSF.; Prairie Lark Press

    This is a comprehensive resource written for clergy and other health care professionals who work with bereaved parents. It provides background information regarding grieving and rituals, and gives excellent examples of memorials and services, including letters and thoughts written by parents. This book also provides practical resources to use in developing activities and programs designed to remember babies, including scripture, prayer, songs, readings and memento suggestions.

17.  When the Bough Breaks by David Delgadillo and Peter Davis, Desk Top Creations, 1992.

    A touching and thoughtful collection of writings about infants who died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). Compiled by the San Diego County Guild for Infant Survival, these writings open a window into the hearts and souls of these parents, siblings and grandparents who so welcomed a new child into their family only to experience the loss of that child to SIDS. This book also includes the experiences and feelings of day care providers, emergency and hospital personnel when their lives are touched by the death of a child from SIDS during the course of their professional duties. A description of the SIDS phenomena, possible etiologies, and a summary of research current in 1992 is provided. Chapters including general information on grieving, difficult times to anticipate and plan for (such as anniversaries and special days), things to consider regarding another pregnancy, and addressing common grief reactions of children are very helpful. A list of "do's" and "don'ts" in the final pages of the book are sound guidelines for anyone who has experienced the loss of a loved one.

18.  Caring for Ones Own Dead by Lisa Carlson, Upper Access Publishers, Hinesburg, Vermont, 1987.

    A sensitively written guide which thoroughly explains the necessary procedures for arranging a funeral on one's own. Contains a state-by-state listing of legal requirements as well as other useful information pertaining to disposition of the body.

19.  A Child Dies:  A Portrait of Family Grief (Second Edition) by Joan Hagan Arnold and Penelope Buschman Gemma; The Charles Press, Publishers, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, 1994.

    This classic resource on parental bereavement is a wonderful book for the professional library.

     The book opens with a few chapters which outline the meaning of loss, the role of children within a family, and the process of grieving a child’s death.  The following chapters are then devoted to discussing the impact of the loss of a child at various stages in development.  The response of parents, siblings and other survivors is then reviewed in following chapters.  The final sections are spent aiding the professional in working with grieving families. 

     One strength of this book is its poignant use of art (illustrations, photographs, poetry, and various writings) to reflect the impact of a child’s loss on those who are grieving.  Accounts of the experiences of real families in grief also serve to enhance this book.  Particular attention is paid to stillbirth in the chapter on death before birth and during infancy. 

     This book is geared towards professionals working with grieving families; however, some families may benefit from this well-written bereavement resource. 

20.  A Resource List and Bibliography on Miscarriage, Stillbirth, Infant Death and Complications with Pregnancy compiled by Calvin deRuyter (A Place to Remember); deRuyter-Nelson Publications, Inc., St. Paul, MN, 1996,

    This resource list has been compiled especially to assist the bereaved but would be a good resource for health professionals and caregivers as well.  The annotated bibliographies, not written in a “research” format but rather in a manner believed to be most helpful (memorable) for the average person (e.g. title, author, date of publication etc.), cover a wide range of topics concerning infant loss and complications of pregnancy including literature about funerals, older-child death, infertility, adoption, mementos, to literature for children, relatives, friends, and professional caregivers.  In addition to the bibliographies, there is information about some national resources (support groups, associations, and newsletters) and a listing of relevant articles found in scientific and “popular” periodicals.  Lastly, there is a list of publications arranged by author. 

21.    Parental Loss of a Child, by Therese A. Rando, ed.; Research Press Company, Champaign, IL, 1986.

    This comprehensive book was written to acquaint professionals in all disciplines with the experience of parental loss of a child.  Information about clinical interventions and therapeutic support for bereaved parents is presented in six different sections.  The first section is a general overview of bereavement issues that parents may experience when dealing with the loss of a child.  The second section addresses issues relating to specific types of child death (miscarriage, stillbirth, sudden infant death syndrome, etc.).  Socially unacknowledged parental bereavements (following induced abortion, adoption, etc.) are discussed in section three, and subjective experiences of death from individuals with different relationships to the deceased child (siblings, single parent, etc.) are presented in section four.  Chapters in section five are aimed at presenting specific advice to professionals about treating and interacting with bereaved parents.  Lastly, section six contains descriptions of various organizations which may aid bereaved parents.  Parental Loss of a Child is lengthy (555 pages), but the authors, who include bereaved parents, professionals themselves, and those who are both, have effectively balanced research and theoretical information with personal stories to present readable, insightful, and in some cases truly touching chapters.  An excellent resource for any professional. 

22.    WiSSPers, newsletter of the Wisconsin Stillbirth Service Program, Dr. Richard M. Pauli and Catherine Reiser, MS, eds.; published 4 times a year by WiSSP, University of Wisconsin, Madison, WI, vol. 1 1993, to present.

    This newsletter contains articles of direct relevance to nurses and physicians who work with bereaved parents, including summaries of recently published articles pertaining to stillbirth in professional journals, in-depth reviews of specific topics by the editors as well as guest experts, and reviews of selected books and related resources which are available through the Wisconsin Stillbirth Service Program. 

23.  After the Loss of Your Baby — For Teen Mothers Only, by Connie Nykiel  Available through the author at:  For Teen Moms Only, PO Box 962, Frankfort, IL  60423

    After the Loss of Your Baby is an amazingly complete booklet written at an appropriate level for even the youngest teen.  In 19 short pages it covers most of the important topics, including an explanation of the more common related medical terms, the grief process, practical issues of creating memories and looking ahead, teen fathers' possible reactions and feelings, and questions about subsequent pregnancies (while many of us may feel uncomfortable thinking about a teenager becoming pregnant again, this booklet addresses the need to be physically and emotionally recovered and physically mature for a next pregnancy).  Contraception is not discussed.  Also available in Spanish.

24.    Swallowed By A Snake - The Gift of the Masculine Side of Healing, by Thomas R. Golden, LCSW; Golden Healing Publishing, Kensington, Maryland, 1996.

     The premise of Swallowed by A Snake is that healing has both a masculine and feminine side, and while both genders have access to both sides, men primarily employ the 'masculine' side of healing, and women the 'feminine'.  The feminine side of healing is described as the more traditionally accepted mode of verbal and emotional expression.  Men tend toward action and creative efforts to acknowledge grief.  The author, a licensed clinical social worker, offers support for male grieving through task by a critical examination of the cross cultural literature, which includes many fascinating and insightful stories and examples of grieving rituals through time and among diverse cultures.  It is pointed out that the need for rituals, in a broad sense, is a source of conflict in modern society because whereas grieving and rules for grieving were once very well defined, this is no longer the case.  Problems also can arise because traditional therapy interventions are designed more for women, and the action oriented masculine mode may be seen as pathologic and 'not really healing". 

25.  Help, Comfort & Hope after Losing Your Baby in Pregnancy or the First Year, by Hannah Lothrop; Fisher Books, 1997.

     Hannah Lothrop writes with empathy, first-hand knowledge, and as a successful psychologist who has devoted much of her professional career to grief counseling of bereaved parents.  Her excellent book is subdivided into two sections.  Part I, intended for bereaved parents, identifies and briefly reviews many possible causes of the loss of a baby, the journey of grieving, suggestions for beginning the healing process, and advice for giving meaning to the experience.  (It should be noted that the list of causes of different types of losses is very incomplete.)  In addition some useful questions are posed to help parents decide if an autopsy is the right choice for them, and brief comment is made about how an autopsy is done, to dispel common misconceptions; unfortunately, one misconception is perpetuated, i.e. that an autopsy is "superfluous" if "the cause is self evident."

     The chapters of Part II are dedicated to those providing support for the bereaved (i.e. caregivers, psychologists, health professionals, funeral directors, relatives, friends, etc.), and include practical suggestions of what to say and not to say, to do or not to do, suggestions directed at hospital staff, and information about support groups, spiritual care, and meditation.

     An additional section is devoted to what she calls "special circumstances", including elective abortion for genetic reasons, or because of an unwanted pregnancy, relinquishing a baby for adoption, and single parenthood; all are validated as losses, with no judgement passed. 

26.  Mother Care, by Sherokee Ilse, Inez Anderson, Mary Funk.  Wintergreen Press Inc, 3630 Eileen St., Maple Plain, Minnesota 55359, 1995.

     Aptly titled, Mother Care is primarily about the needed care for regaining physical health following loss through a late miscarriage, stillbirth or early infant death.  Information is included on several important topics, such as breast care, nutrition, and hygiene.  Questions answered are practical ones:  How much bleeding is expected, and for how long?  When should a doctor be called?  When can sexual activity be resumed?  How can/should exercise be incorporated in a post partum period? 

     The second half of the book concerns emotional and spiritual care, with suggestions that may benefit both mother and father.  And while this information is also important, it is the first 10 pages that make this resource truly special.